Driving from the SF Bay area to LA and San Diego can be challenging for those of us with attention-deficit disorder. We seek constant stimulation, but “The 5” offers little in the way of visual variety as it shoots straight as an arrow down the Central Valley, a basin also known as The Great Trough of California. The flatness of the Central Valley is notorious, and often the mountains and sun are blocked by brown dust, giving you the feeling that you’re locked in a brown tunnel.
The ride is a close contender for “world’s most boring road trip ever”—easily winning over the two-hour drive from St. Louis to Columbia, MO across I-70. The Missouri trip is one I’ve done a hundred times. (I have decided it’s actually more interesting at night because at least there are lights to look at.) Nevertheless, the Missouri trip is not only much shorter but offers rolling hills, gentle curves, and a scenic bridge crossing of the Missouri River—a visual feast compared to the Central Valley.
I-5 is not so bad if you are doing the driving, and constantly passing trucks and adjusting your speed to overtake slow pokes on the two-lane freeway, but as a passenger I find it hard going. My husband and I often listen to audible books (previously known as “books on tape”), and that can be a pleasurable and addictive way to while away the hours, especially when you get stuck in traffic somewhere around LA. (I say “when” because it is inevitable unless you leave in the wee hours. It’s always rush hour in LA. Maybe there’s a small window say from 1:30-2:30 pm when the lunch-hour rush thins and the after-school rush hour hasn’t started. We found this window last week on a Friday and sailed through Pasadena and on to Riverside County and San Diego as if we were out on the open range. It was like winning the lottery.)
But for visual stimulation down the I-5 rather than aural, you have to put on your “safari eyes” as my sister-in-law calls it. If you pay attention, there are things you can see that if not exactly exciting, are at least interesting enough to keep you awake. So on the theory that knowledge increases enjoyment, let me be your docent for a day.
The drive down I-5 can be made more interesting just by knowing more about where you are and what you are seeing. The Central Valley stretches from Redding in the north to the community of Grapevine in the south. It includes the Sacramento River Valley in the North, the San Joaquin Valley in the South, and Tulare Basin at the southern end. The Sierras and the Coastal Ranges actually define the Central Valley, which averages about 50 miles wide and is 450 miles long.
Half the fruits and vegetables grown in the U.S. grow right here in the Central Valley. Contemplate that factoid as you pass endless rows of nut and fruit trees that slice away on the diagonal from the highway. In winter the black bare trunks and branches form an endless array of patterns against the dusty brown earth. It’s mesmerizing in a sort of monochromatic way. You might even think you’re in a Van Gogh sketch set in the south of France; isn’t that Mount Ventoux over there?
Watch for the way the orange tree foliage is pruned into cubes to let trucks and harvesting equipment do their job. Squared on all four sides and tops, the leafy trees take on the appearance of a hedge. The square green against the round orange of the fruit is a study in contrasts of form and color. The orange fruit pops against the deep green. Get out your watercolors and sketch pad.
If you stay alert, you can see huge piles of brown dirt outside of processing plants. Wait a minute, that isn’t dirt; those are walnut shells! A quick Google search reveals that crushed walnut shells are used in sandblasting operations, paint removal, engine cleaning, oil excavation, landscaping, and in cosmetics for exfoliation. Obviously it’s a huge industry that you would have been ignorant of if not for your trip down the I-5. Think about that the next time you use a face scrub.
Eventually the orchards give away to grapevines, and you remember that the Central Valley produces a vast amount of wine. OK, it’s not Napa or Sonoma, but you have to be impressed by the sheer quantity of wine that comes out of the Central Valley.
Next the grapevines give way to desert plants and bushes. Surprise! The southern part of Central Valley is practically the Mojave Desert. You can spot traces of the desert in between swaths of farmland. When you see creosote bushes, you know you’re getting close to the end of your travail. So keep watching….
Road signs are always a source of interest when the farmland grows boring. Here are some I spotted last week: “Congress created the Dust Bowl” and “The water crisis is politician manufactured.” The signs remind you that water is the number one issue that defines California’s history and will define its future. The fights over water are what make California the state it is. (That, and the sunshine, of course.)
Naturally, you will also see sections of the California Aqueduct and the Delta-Mendota Canal, man-made concrete rivers carrying water from the Sierra Nevada and the Delta (where the San Joaquin and the Sacramento merge on their way to San Francisco Bay and the ocean) to southern California.
On a clear day you can see the mountain ranges narrow on both sides as you head south to the Grapevine. The mountains step in imperceptibly, closing you in, and then suddenly you are at the town of Grapevine where the two mountain ranges lock hands and form a massive barrier between you and LA–the Tehachapi Mountains.
The Tehachapis separate the San Joaquin Valley to the north and the Mojave Desert to the south. They are commonly considered to be the geographical feature that separates Northern California from Southern California. The steep grade up I-5 to the pass is called The Grapevine by Californians. I always thought this was because the road is winding and twisty like grapevines, but in fact, the road is named after Grapevine Canyon, which was in turn named after native wild grapes (Vitis californica) found growing there. The Spanish called the canyon La Canada de las Uvas: literally, The Canyon of the Grapes. Bet you didn’t know that, did you?
It’s a thrilling moment when you reach this point in the drive. It’s the payoff for all those hours of tedium. (But before you drive over the pass, I recommend you stop first at In-and-Out Burger in the Tejon Ranch shopping center. Just FYI.)
Suddenly you are climbing from the valley floor, it’s cool, almost alpine, and then you are gifted with a sight of Pyramid Lake glistening in the sun between pyramid-shaped mountains. Ominous signs advise you to turn off AC. There’s a turnoff where you can get water to cool off your engine.
You go from sea level to several thousand feet in a matter of miles as you reach the Tejon Pass at 4100 feet. Then you roll over the summit and start coasting down the long grade to Santa Clarita and the Six Flags amusement park. You have reach SoCal at last. Pull out the maps or turn on your GPS. It’s time to navigate the freeways of LA.
